The Yelp!ification of Opinion

So I recently wrote about sandwiches. I think I was pretty clear that I was just talking about sandwiches I liked from places I've been. I didn't pretend that I was an expert on sandwiches. I didn't pretend that I'd been to every sandwich place in town or that I was making an unequivocal list of the best and anything not on my list was bad.

Apparently, however, every positive mention of a business means you are, by definition, damning every other similar business you aren't mentioning. My sandwich post garnered the most comments of any post I've done in a while and all were ostensibly from new readers, most of whom were soiling their panties over my failure to mention their favorite sandwich shop.

Come on fuckers, I didn't title my post "the best sandwich in LA" or any other crap like that. I was just writing about good sandwiches. And so sorry I didn't go to your little sandwich shop in Santa Monica, but have any of you been to all the sandwich shops that I listed in my post? I mean, if you have then I'll think a bit more about caring for your opinion. I still won't care for it, but I'll at least consider it.

Now I will respond to each comment:

"56295629 said...

Does Bay City Deli not fit some equation here?"

And what equation would that be? Borderline illiteracy + opinion = dipshit? Because in that case, it does fit into the equation.

What equation it does not fit, however, is the subject of my post which is PLACES I'VE BEEN. I haven't been to Bay City Deli. Sorry.

"tin said...

Artisan Cheese Gallery in Studio City has superb sandwiches!"

I've heard this. I haven't been, hence not writing about it. But that's the Valley, and the only things in the Valley are porn stars and pumpkins.

"Francisco said...

Seriously, the exclusion of Bay Cities completely invalidates this list."

Now I don't want to go to Bay Cities because apparently its fans are militant retards. Sort of like NOW on a short bus. Nothing invalidates anything. Please check the subject. It's a list of places I've been that I've liked. It makes no pretense to comprehensiveness or objectivity.

"SR said...

I'll second Artisan and third Bay City. And throw in Langer's for good measure."

Cool. Good for you. But I don't recall asking "Give me your recommendations for some other good sandwiches."

Does the internets really have most of us convinced that every little musing is an objective unequivocal assertion of truth and value? Or do we really just love our little parochial sandwich shop that much? Or do most of us not read?

Just to check: "I really like Bacaro."

Now I hope to get a flurry of comments declaring my statement invalid because I don't also like some place I've never been.

Save it for Yelp!

And tell your mom I said whaddup.