Crab Cakes!

Dear anonymous restaurant in Arlington, VA:

A pile of canned crab on a bun is not a crab cake sandwich. It's a pile of fucking crab on a bun. Here I was trying to relive a love of my childhood, the Mid-Atlantic crab cake sandwich, and you give me a pile of (admittedly lump) crab meat on a crappy role with some jarred tartare sauce on the side. Lame.

Your onion rings were good though.

Love,
D